The week went by with lotsa shit and work, with the bitch barking on me on Wednesday, Zippy thingy and Friday, met up with Lisa, together with Lava n Peina. Spent such a looong time in banquet.

Today was Risq Aryff's first birthday celebration. Finally met up with the goons. Been so long. Still did not get to meet Hairi though. He was so late, Joe was so cranky and end up me being so pissed.

Sometimes I wished Joe understands that I can't live in solitude like he can. I mean, I haven't met my friends for some time and all I wanted was to spend time with lil Auni, lil Aryff and lil Soffiyah. And of coz their parents...

I am so sick of living in silence. I find myself so cooped up, I can't shout on top of my lungs, I can't laugh out loud to my heart's content... I know Joe isn't comfy at my place either. I wished he could understand that I feel the same way here. I didn't complain coz I only tolerated. We put off looking for a flat due to financial situation, yes, and I could only understand. But I think I have been so understanding. How can I remedy the situation? I can only keep quiet and understand or try to. I dunno how I could take this. I dunno why am I so patient... I am so crazy.

One day, because of Joe's solitary lifestyle, I am gonna lose touch with my goons lives. And perhaps one day my family. I dun want that.... I want to be with my sister.... I love my sister.... I love mummy. So emo... I wanna go out. I think I'm gonna tell Joe I wanna go NTUC. Maybe a breath of fresh air all alone will make me feel better. This is a perfect excuse to go out.