It's been a while since Hectic with a capital "H" ruled by life... I feel that I'm smothered by so much work commitments. There are times when I wish time would stand still, lemme gaze around for awhile and prolly dream of Maldives... I dream too much.

I realise how much in time I have wasted and creating avenues to spruse up my life seems to be futile.

And GOODBYE BLOODY MTS!!! No more!
I guess it's the best for me. So much pride and principle they have trod on, I can't be living in hypocrisy all the time. I hate the fact that they are armourly saying they are "helping the community", but God knows what other plans they have. How they trod on religion, racial entity etc etc. Might as well not work for a Malay/Muslim organisation who claims to be "helping" but in real fact, they are just on the surface, touching slightly and not really making a goddamn difference. My tide with them may have subsided but I feel with all the negativities my HT said of me despite how sincere I was, gotta have knocked out the socks outta them.

"Siti, why are you always late? You're making the class wait for you...."

"It's not even 9. Classes start at 9."

"But you know they will cut your honorarium....."

"So it's not the class waiting for me then."

"You know I can write a report on your persistent late coming?"

Mumbling. "Yeah, figured."

"Sorry?"

"Gotta go, my class is waiting..."

Ever since then, I swear she hates me. She keeps coming to my class to pick on my pupils. She shouted at my pupils for not wearing proper attire to MTS. She said I was lenient for not addressing. So what? Is it important that they come to class attired in whatever is deemed proper? Its a good thing they even turn up for classes. I mean, the kids are putting effort to wake up early, on a Saturday morning, and you expect them to be properly attired like they would for school? I understand the need to conform, but shdn't you be flexible? What if they have no uniform to wear?

"Then no need to come la, Cher..."

And the people up there do not support my cause. They think conforming is more important then getting the kids to come to class. Personally, it's not what the kids wear. It's what they learn at the end of the day. Believe me, my kids aren't bogus. They know what's going on. At the end of the day, they learn how bogus the whole organisation is. How I sought to argue every other time when I disagree. Not a bad lesson,eh?

Screw the honorarium. The fatigue and the shits are too heavy. I'd rather go without it. Then having an overweight beast breathing down my neck and a lack-of-hair hobbit who skips along with her.

I'll find some other organisations who seek people to sincerely go out to lend a helping hand to kids.... At least I would go home tired but satisfied.