A depressed blog again.

Alot of bickering and uncertainties now. Plenty of arguements and non-related issues. This is so painful. I can't sleep in peace anymore again. I have to turn and stir till I'm finally physically tired, but my head juices are still pouring with all the thoughts and solutions for everything.

I tried to sing myself to sleep, but with every song, I thought about how the lyrics relate to me... NO... too much thinking, I tried gaming on my new toy, but it reminded too much of how i scorned at this. I seem to never get away with alot of things.
Today, I woke up feeling tired, aching, uneasy, head throbbing... I can't do this. I need to stay away for awhile. I realised I lack the 'alone' time I used to have. So I stayed out of work to be alone, swallowed some cool drugs to ease my pain and catch up on what normal people call sleep.

But when I woke up, it was there again, the hurt, the stress... It was temporary. NOw, I'm forced to get out of my 'alone' shell and to face the ultimatum. How I wish I could run. But where? I have trapped myself in this rut.
I need more 'alone' time... But this will be a very rare activity.

..... as I am typing this, I was just shelled heavily without cover or protection....