It's a Sunday morning. After a dose of polaramine, I feel quite light-headed... For the last few days, I've had fever, cold and occasional coughs. Not right as rain yet, hopefully soon enough so I can head down to the pool for a few laps and out cruising my neighbourhood with my legs....

Last sat, my cuz got married. Finally. While sitting my ass ard, one of the aunties who I've never seen before directed me to give out bunga telur, together with the rest of the kids... I dunno whether to be insulted or to take it complimentary. My mum had to explain that I'm shy. Then I realised she was my cuz's fiance's mother (what the fuck was she doing there, beats me). And someone told her that I am older than the bride and that I'm the eldest cousin among all. After that, she started talking to me like an adult, when initially she was hurling directive words at me. I take it that she thought I was a teenager, and that I looked young... There, makes me feel better.

The rest of the wedding was boring... Coz most of the time, me n my other cuz just sit and stare. I can't believe I just wasted a day... It was so hypocritical, I wonder why was I there in the first place. I hate my cuz's haughty mom (no I shall not acknowledge her my aunt) , and her new husband who thought he knew everything abt me even without me myself knowing it... Oh, it's such a long history...

Talking about weddings, I am in a frightful hot seat. I wanted to take initiatives and start planning things for my own, but I was chided before on how I take control of things without asking opinions. But I'm the organisational type, I take my own initiative to plan. And I carry things out need things be. But now, I have to take a backseat, as I painfully watch how things are never gonna be done.

I know I should not take control of things and be dominating. I should allow him some room to decide and direct. But I wonder if he even thought of it at all, unless I started probing. And I dun wanna be the desperate nag. I hate it. It's November already and according to plan, it should be December. But isn't it too late now? With nothing on hand?

I tried to plan holiday, but he thinks I'm giving him a time limit... I thought by doing that, it will speed things up and make things more efficient. Nope, it crashed down on me. So now I have to painfully take a backseat and watch..............

Maybe next year... Maybe not.....